Food For Thought

I've chosen to cut my ties with someone who I use to consider a friend. I met this friend a few years ago and I learned a lot about the music industry because of her. This was before I even created Generation Clash. After reading her articles, I was inspired to start my own media outlet to write about the artists that I loved.

Something changed along the way. I'd write to her and sometimes, she'd be happy to talk to me and other times she'd read my message and not respond...and if I brought it up to her, I would get told that she would try not to read stuff unless she was going to respond. This is one of a few things that was supposed to change and didn't and all I'll get told is that I have too much time invested in this.

When the pandemic happened, I was cutting ties in my mind with a lot of people, but I was too nice to actually do it because I felt that these were my friends, and their choices were theirs to make. I had to be uncomfortable because I felt that my friends were endangering themselves when they could've simply put a mask on and protected themselves. They could do what they wanted but protect yourself. In recent days, I'm done being annoyed over what people do so if I'm uncomfortable, I cut my ties. Why should I have to keep my mouth shut and not be able to share my feelings if I want to?

Back to the former friend. I discovered her finsta through another friend who followed me on her own finsta, and I followed her back. I saw comments that she passed on this other friend's posts, and I figured since we were friends, she'd be okay with me following her finsta. Wrong. She told me that she felt that I was a friend and a colleague...so if this is the case, why am I not allowed to access it? This is most likely because you have things that you hide and but you allow who you allow to look at it when those people that you think are so trustworthy could be screenshotting those photos and captions and sending it to who you work for and get you fired or just to talk about you when you're not around.

This eventually became her photography account, and I was unable to access it. Upon contacting her about it, she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about and unblocked me, and I was suddenly able to access it. This isn't the first time that she couldn't be honest with me about why she really blocked me.

All I had to do was see that putting a mask on wasn't a priority but going to concerts was and I was done...and even then, I still didn't have the guts to cut my ties because I figured I would stop worrying about it but I care about my friends.

After years of telling myself that it's my perception of the situation, I was finally done, and I did cut my ties this time. I viewed her Instagram story and she was wearing a pin that honored a friend that we lost, and I recognized it and she offered one to me and I said yes. Days passed and I didn't receive an update unless I followed up and the response, I got was that she would ship it when she could. To me, this was her not addressing it because that doesn't help me. I think if you ask for a deadline, you should get a day, or a date. Let me say one better, you shouldn't offer something to someone if you can't ship it by the end of the week, or the end of the month.

So, I opened my mouth after I let an entire week go by, giving her 7 days to contact me with an update which she didn't. I don't give myself right for what I said but I didn't call her names, and I didn't force her to ship it. I told her that I thought it was a little ridiculous that she couldn't write to me with an update...and when she wrote back, she certainly knew how to write an essay to me about how I don't know her, and I don't know her life instead of addressing the problem. She could only tell me that she didn't have a deadline after being mean to me for contacting her...so I guess I should've just dealt with whenever the hell she wanted to handle it instead of staying on top of things because in my experience, if you don't follow up, things don't get addressed.

I don't know what to pin this on. Jealousy? I think people can't stand other people who do the things they don't put time into rather than taking an example and bettering themselves.

Thank you for reading along.